ChineseElvis surreptitiously points to the culprit when asked by police whether anyone knew which bastard had parked their Skoda in the handicapped spot outside the supermarket.

Alexandra Paul
Ex-captain of England Rugby Union Team. Hard as nails and fit as a fiddle. And a lovely geezer. Surprisingly short, this picture was taken with him standing on a fruit box, which he carries round with him for such occasions. He also has a permanent speech bubble (also pictured) in the shape of Texas, which stays attached to the left side of his head and lights up whenever he says anything.