What better place to start an angry middle aged rant than the two things I don’t really understand?

I literally have no idea what Twitter is all about. I managed to get the username ChineseElvis but I have never used it knowingly. And by that I mean when I have used it, I have no idea what the hell is going on. It also means that I have also willfully avoided using it. I resent my inability to use it.

Facebook is quite useful for organising school reunions, I have found.

Under peer pressure, I started a page for ChineseElvis, but it is rather pathetic, I will admit. I don’t know what to say there because I dont like or understand people that use the site. https://www.facebook.com/ChineseElvisUK

The last post there has a good gag, which to save you having to click, I repeat here:

This lady was doing her act at a gig I was headlining and allowed me to take a picture of her:

“If you look long enough, eventually you can see a snake.”

Apart from this schoolboy gag, the rest of the page is, as you can see, mostly a waste of pixels and time, which is frankly what I find Facebook to be full stop. I have turned off the alerts for so many of my “friend’s” posts that I have literally no idea what they are all on about when they email me to ask why I am not engaging in some protest they are all against. Or for. All these people assume that I follow the feed as frantically as they do and this assumption only makes me want to avoid Facebook (and them) all the more.

Yet I am too chicken to delete my account. I am like a kid who hates being at a party, but doesn’t dare leave in case anybody has a good time without him.